Well on Saturday after coming home from an awesome and inspiring meeting, I had much to reflect upon. The topic was "Why am I doing this." I loved hearing all the answers to the question. It really got me thinking why and I doing this. I will get to my answer but not until after I explain my thoughts.
I had a great weigh in down 3.4 pounds putting me at a total of 103 pounds lost. My leader asked me how do I feel now,since I have a hit another milestone in my journey. When I got home that thought just stayed in my mind. I feel like myself in some ways, and in many ways not myself. In fact in many ways, I feel like a totally new person. I now feel like that song "It's a New Day" I love the part that says "And this old world is a new world. And a bold world. For me." (I love Nina Samone's version the best)
I let my weight create a prison for me. A little box where I had to stay. That way no one noticed how big I was, if I were not the center of attention, then no one saw that I was obese. I was so limited, I could not go to the mall and buy cute clothes. I could not hang with the girls because, I would be the fat friend. I avoided all full length mirrors. I never dressed up because I could not find anything to wear in my size that did not look like it was for Madea in Tyler Perry's movies. Now, I no longer have to shop in the plus size side. I can wear a belt! I can wear fitted pants! I can get on any ride and not worry about the size limit. I remember being on elevators and staring at the weight limit worrying about mine. I dance in the kitchen. I make healthy choices most of the time. I read labels, look at my sodium intake, drink almost nothing but water, and fitness is my passion. I still am the old me too. I still struggle with food. Still struggle to know when I am really full. Still here Nestle Toll House cookies calling my name. Still feel like the 298 pound fat girl.
But now I am a fighter. Now I know that the road is not only bumpy but has about 9000 speed bumps, and some areas with no guard rails! There are days when it feels so hard, so hard that it seems like I should say what the heck, and eat whatever, because I will never be thin. But that is fear talking, and fear may be my giant, but I have my five stones in my pocket, and I am ready to take it on. I spent way too much time being afraid, afraid to try, afraid to fail, afraid to keep going, afraid of messing up, you name it. But that is giving the fears too much control. If I fall seven times, I get up eight times.
I gotta tell you to lose weight it is not easy, in fact it is one of the hardest things you will ever ever do in your life, but it can be one of the most rewarding. You have to realize you need to exercise, to burn calories and for overall health and fitness. But most of it is what the heck you put in your mouth period. You have to be willing to make changes and sacrifices to your lifestyle. If not then you will fail. You have to be willing to eat baked apples for dessert a few night a week, to have that piece of cheesecake. You have to be willing to get up when you want to sleep in and get on that treadmill to burn calories to prepare for that wedding on the weekend. You have to be willing to order an appetizer for dinner when your friends eat double cheeseburgers. You have to be willing to account for every single thing you put in your mouth. Most of all you have to be honest with yourself. If you taste every single dish while cooking and do not account for those calories, or if you don't weigh and measure your food, you can not be mad at the scale when it moves in the wrong direction, or not at all.
You have to realize there will be weeks where you do every single thing perfectly, track, exercise, make good choices, and you gain or the scale will not budge. Just be patient and keep at it. Re examine your week see where you perhaps can improve and keep going. There will also be times, that someone will bring you that Mississippi Mud Pie, or your husband walks in with a large pizza, or your mom makes macaroni and cheese. Don't panic you can get through. I try to plan ahead for these instances so when they come up I am prepared. But I also realize that is life I can not control everything, so I make do with the situation and make the best choice possible. If I fail, I brush myself off, and forget about it, hit fast forward and move on. I look at the situation, find the triggers, and learn from it.
If you are like me and have to lose the weight of a whole person, it is overwhelming at first, so just take it 10% at a time. You will get there, it is a marathon not a sprint. Remember the harder the climb the greater the view. See this is just not about losing weight, it is also about becoming whole. It is about fixing what is broken. No one gets to 289 pounds without other issues. I realize now I have to deal with my emotions in positive ways. I have to be aware of me trying to use food as a crutch. I have to learn to eat to live not live to eat. I have to face those inner giants too. If I do not I can get to goal, and still not be whole. It is about getting well too not just a healthy weight.
So why do I do this? Because, I can not imagine my life without it, because I was digging a grave literally with my knife and my fork. I do this because I love the way I feel now. I feel like I am free, and because I want others to be free too. I do it because it is my passion. I do it because I can and I will!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Low Fat Biscuit
The recipe is easy 1 and a 1/2 cup of heart smart bisquick, 1/2 cup of lowfat buttermilk or skim milk, you can make drop biscuits or roll them out on a bisquick dusted surface and bake at 450 until golden brown, I sprayed with I can not believe it is butter spray a few minutes before taking out!
Sunday Dinner!
Dinner Grilled Kickin Lemon chicken, with black beans, roasted veggie mix from the garden mostly with fresh herbs, and a low fat biscuit!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Back to circuit training going back to this again once a week!
Bob Harper's 15 station workout!
Incline Chest Press
Grab a pair of dumbbells and challenge yourself with the weights. Sit back on the incline and press the weights above the chest and back down until your arms are in a 90-degree angle.
Rowing Machine
Keep your abs engaged and use your arm strength to pull the rower back, utilizing your upper back strength. This is a great activity for those of you that are looking for a cardio workout but can't handle the pressure of body weight on your knees and joints.
Overhead Presses
Standing with your legs at shoulder-width apart, core engaged, and palms facing front, press your arms straight up to the ceiling and lower your weights down below your heart.
Straight Bicep Curls
Standing with your legs shoulder-width apart, elbows directly to your sides. The only movement should be from your elbows down to your waste. Concentrate on activating your bicep muscle. Challenge yourself with moderate to heavy weights.
Step-Ups
A great cardio activity! Using a block for beginners around 12 inches high (for more advanced, 20 inches) step up as if you are walking up a flight of stairs. Keep your abs strong and use your leg strength to step up. Be careful when stepping off. Slow is always better.
Tricep Dips
Place your hands on a bench, fingers facing forward, feet flat on the ground and shoulders down away from your ears. Lower your hips down toward the floor until your arms are in a 90-degree angle and then use your triceps to lift your body back up to starting position.
Wall Sits
Lean your back against a sturdy wall with legs in a 90-degree angle as if you are sitting in a chair. Your quads, hamstrings and core will hold you in this position. This one is a KILLER!!!
Leg Extensions
A great quad exercise to strengthen knees, using an extension machine with a challenging weight, around 70 pounds. Sit up tall and focus on the contraction of the quads when you extend the legs into a straight position and then lower down slowly.
One -Armed Rows
Place your right hand on the bench and right foot on the floor, with a weight, around 25 pounds up to 45 pounds. Place the weight in your left hand. Keeping your back straight, and head and neck in a neutral position, lower the weight to the floor and then bring the elbow up to the ceiling, engaging your upper and mid-back muscles.
Underhanded Push-Ups
On a Smith machine drop the bar down about hip height. Get under the bar in a reverse push-up position to focus on your back muscles. This is one of my favorite exercises. It's a great way to get you ready for regular pull-ups.
Trunk Twists
A great core exercise. Stand with a challenging weight, shoulders relaxed, and twist your upper body from side to side with the emphasis on keeping the lower body stationary.
Planks
Another great core exercise, get your body down on the floor in a push-up position, but instead of being on your hands, get down on your elbows and hold position for 30-45 seconds. Make sure to focus on your ab strength.
Arc Trainer
A great piece of cardio equipment that gets your body weight off of your joints. When using the arc trainer, challenge yourself with the manual function. Hit the resistance up around 15 and pump your arms as hard as you can.
Wall Sits While Holding Medicine Ball Above the Head
Repeat the same movement as the wall sit but this time get a HEAVY medicine ball and hold it overhead to take this difficult exercise to a whole other level.
Treadmill Sprints
A great way to get your heart rate pumping. Jump on the treadmill and find a challenging speed, beginners around 6 mph and more advanced, 9-10 mph for an entire minute. This will increase your cardiovascular strength and is a tremendous fat burner.
Incline Chest Press
Grab a pair of dumbbells and challenge yourself with the weights. Sit back on the incline and press the weights above the chest and back down until your arms are in a 90-degree angle.
Rowing Machine
Keep your abs engaged and use your arm strength to pull the rower back, utilizing your upper back strength. This is a great activity for those of you that are looking for a cardio workout but can't handle the pressure of body weight on your knees and joints.
Overhead Presses
Standing with your legs at shoulder-width apart, core engaged, and palms facing front, press your arms straight up to the ceiling and lower your weights down below your heart.
Straight Bicep Curls
Standing with your legs shoulder-width apart, elbows directly to your sides. The only movement should be from your elbows down to your waste. Concentrate on activating your bicep muscle. Challenge yourself with moderate to heavy weights.
Step-Ups
A great cardio activity! Using a block for beginners around 12 inches high (for more advanced, 20 inches) step up as if you are walking up a flight of stairs. Keep your abs strong and use your leg strength to step up. Be careful when stepping off. Slow is always better.
Tricep Dips
Place your hands on a bench, fingers facing forward, feet flat on the ground and shoulders down away from your ears. Lower your hips down toward the floor until your arms are in a 90-degree angle and then use your triceps to lift your body back up to starting position.
Wall Sits
Lean your back against a sturdy wall with legs in a 90-degree angle as if you are sitting in a chair. Your quads, hamstrings and core will hold you in this position. This one is a KILLER!!!
Leg Extensions
A great quad exercise to strengthen knees, using an extension machine with a challenging weight, around 70 pounds. Sit up tall and focus on the contraction of the quads when you extend the legs into a straight position and then lower down slowly.
One -Armed Rows
Place your right hand on the bench and right foot on the floor, with a weight, around 25 pounds up to 45 pounds. Place the weight in your left hand. Keeping your back straight, and head and neck in a neutral position, lower the weight to the floor and then bring the elbow up to the ceiling, engaging your upper and mid-back muscles.
Underhanded Push-Ups
On a Smith machine drop the bar down about hip height. Get under the bar in a reverse push-up position to focus on your back muscles. This is one of my favorite exercises. It's a great way to get you ready for regular pull-ups.
Trunk Twists
A great core exercise. Stand with a challenging weight, shoulders relaxed, and twist your upper body from side to side with the emphasis on keeping the lower body stationary.
Planks
Another great core exercise, get your body down on the floor in a push-up position, but instead of being on your hands, get down on your elbows and hold position for 30-45 seconds. Make sure to focus on your ab strength.
Arc Trainer
A great piece of cardio equipment that gets your body weight off of your joints. When using the arc trainer, challenge yourself with the manual function. Hit the resistance up around 15 and pump your arms as hard as you can.
Wall Sits While Holding Medicine Ball Above the Head
Repeat the same movement as the wall sit but this time get a HEAVY medicine ball and hold it overhead to take this difficult exercise to a whole other level.
Treadmill Sprints
A great way to get your heart rate pumping. Jump on the treadmill and find a challenging speed, beginners around 6 mph and more advanced, 9-10 mph for an entire minute. This will increase your cardiovascular strength and is a tremendous fat burner.
Baked swai and oven roasted veggies
Love veggies topped with fresh herbs and Parmesan cheese! It give it a lot of flavor and therefore I eat more of the veggies because of the fresh flavor! That way I eat my veggies first!
It's not all about counting calories!
I came to a new conclusion tonight. Tonight I made a huge birthday family dinner. I made pork spareribs,fried green tomatoes,cornbread, grilled marinated chicken,fresh corn on the cob, and steamed broccoli and carrots. I had a plan of attack, I would make chocolate cake and icing, since I hate it. I was going to eat two ribs, the chicken breast, corn on the cob, three fried green tomatoes, and steamed veggies. This was after all to be my splurge meal. Well dinner time came and I ate the two ribs, and even though they were nice and moist and tender, it just was not as good as I remember. Just did not do it for me anymore. I wound up only eating the steamed veggies and two of the three fried green tomatoes.
I was cleaning up the kitchen and I realized that in the past I would have kept eating anyway, just because. I would have eaten everything too. But what was different now? Well I realize the difference now is control. Most of the time that I ate a lot was when I felt a lack of structure or out of control. Now I know it seems crazy to say that I ate to get control, but the food then gave me comfort and made me feel more in control. The more comfort I got from food the better I felt. But this year I made a plan and a plan b, and I felt in control.
So now I see one of my triggers is if I lack structure or feel out of control I will eat. Saturdays seem to be the hardest for me. I am running around all day, get too hungry and then start craving junk like fried foods and candy. So I need to do a better job of planning for Saturday.
See losing weight is great, but realize you can be at goal and not be right mentally. We all need to work on the mental. If we do not realize our triggers and make action plans we will wind right back up to where we began. Just like an any other addiction, where you come up with plans for different situations that may arise, over eaters must do the same thing. Yes this is not just about the physical of weight loss, I have to work on the whole me. I want to be overall healthier.
I was cleaning up the kitchen and I realized that in the past I would have kept eating anyway, just because. I would have eaten everything too. But what was different now? Well I realize the difference now is control. Most of the time that I ate a lot was when I felt a lack of structure or out of control. Now I know it seems crazy to say that I ate to get control, but the food then gave me comfort and made me feel more in control. The more comfort I got from food the better I felt. But this year I made a plan and a plan b, and I felt in control.
So now I see one of my triggers is if I lack structure or feel out of control I will eat. Saturdays seem to be the hardest for me. I am running around all day, get too hungry and then start craving junk like fried foods and candy. So I need to do a better job of planning for Saturday.
See losing weight is great, but realize you can be at goal and not be right mentally. We all need to work on the mental. If we do not realize our triggers and make action plans we will wind right back up to where we began. Just like an any other addiction, where you come up with plans for different situations that may arise, over eaters must do the same thing. Yes this is not just about the physical of weight loss, I have to work on the whole me. I want to be overall healthier.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
A little perspective
You know when you think you are doing bad, or weight loss is slow, or like me bouncing back and forth with the same pounds. Stop take a moment and look back. I was reflecting on my past this morning when I was preparing for my sons party tomorrow. Now I will eat cake (well the frosting lol, I used to eat both even though I do not really like the cake sad I know) But I am planning to get a nice workout to make up for that, and planning my points around it. Before I never would do that, would have eaten everything becuase what the heck I was blowing it anyway right. I never measured before, never opted for more veggies, rarely bought fresh fruits and veggies. Ate a ton of potatoes, would sit down and eat past the full point. Always had two pieces of garlic bread, and even when I thought I was eating healthy I ate twice the amount I should. I easily ate 2 whole bags of gummy worms and never thought twice of it. I would eat a whole bag of chips etc. But I never really thought I had an issue because in my mind, since I did not eat a lot of high fatty foods I was good right? Wow it is no wonder I was 300 pounds at one point. But now even when I feel out of control it is nothing like before, and I am aware, and I step back and revamp myself. So remember no on is perfect we all have bad days, weeks heck even a month. But you know what? You are not who you were before! You have come a long way, and are taking a huge step. I know I will struggle with food my whole life, but it will no longer control me. I have taken my life back! and you can too! One minute, and one step at a time. The most successful people at weight loss are those who deal with the mental and physical. We will all get there and stay there! I know it!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Fighter
Thursday I was on the treadmill running (if anyone knows me I do my best thinking on the treadmill) and I was thinking about my weight loss journey. Lately it seems that the road has taken several unexpected turns. At times it is down right frusstrating and discouraging. To work so hard at times and not see the scale move in the right direction can make a person go insane!
Well I decided there are only a dew things under my control. What I put in my body, my exercise, and my attiutude are all under my control. I have two choices let the adrenal problems hindering my weight loss destroy me or make me stronger. I of course have the right to be upset and frustrated, but at some point I have to decide how I will react. I decided that I will not let the scale be the end all be all of my life. My clothes are getting looser and looser, even if the scale is going back and forth. My clothes never once got tighter. I can see and feel bones and see a person in the mirror who looks different. These are important strides in my journey.
I also notice how I have become more fit. I can run at 6.0 without feeling like I will pass out, I can run sprints, I can run for thirty minutes straight and I can keep up with the people in the gym, that I used to dream of being like. People see me as an athelete which is funny to me becuase I was a couch potato not too long ago. And I love how a hard workout makes me feel after, like I have accomplshed something. I always wanted to be fit, it is a dream for me.
I am also finally making better food choices, and those choice feel like a way of life not a diet. I plan all my meals ahead of time and make sure I get plenty of variety. I noticed why I have been successful this time, is becuase I rarely make the same dinner in a two week span other than burgers. This keeps it exciting. I also learned to make foods I love healthier. The vegetable area is now my best friend. I see them as great compliments to dinner, and the more color the better!
So all these things are reasons other than the scale to show I am succeeding, maybe not in the most obvious way, but in heealthy ways!
So when I am either in spin class or on the treadmill or arc trainer, I like to play my favorite workout song, "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera. It always gets me to push to the next level. I apply those words to my weight loss journey and tell the scale this:
"'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger.
Makes me work a little bit harder.
Makes me that much wiser.
So thanks for making me a fighter...
I am a fighter
(I'm a fighter)
I ain't gonna stop
(I ain't gonna stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough"
Yep I am a fighter and I will not give up my weight loss journey. I will get fit, and I will get to goal one day! I am a fighter.
Well I decided there are only a dew things under my control. What I put in my body, my exercise, and my attiutude are all under my control. I have two choices let the adrenal problems hindering my weight loss destroy me or make me stronger. I of course have the right to be upset and frustrated, but at some point I have to decide how I will react. I decided that I will not let the scale be the end all be all of my life. My clothes are getting looser and looser, even if the scale is going back and forth. My clothes never once got tighter. I can see and feel bones and see a person in the mirror who looks different. These are important strides in my journey.
I also notice how I have become more fit. I can run at 6.0 without feeling like I will pass out, I can run sprints, I can run for thirty minutes straight and I can keep up with the people in the gym, that I used to dream of being like. People see me as an athelete which is funny to me becuase I was a couch potato not too long ago. And I love how a hard workout makes me feel after, like I have accomplshed something. I always wanted to be fit, it is a dream for me.
I am also finally making better food choices, and those choice feel like a way of life not a diet. I plan all my meals ahead of time and make sure I get plenty of variety. I noticed why I have been successful this time, is becuase I rarely make the same dinner in a two week span other than burgers. This keeps it exciting. I also learned to make foods I love healthier. The vegetable area is now my best friend. I see them as great compliments to dinner, and the more color the better!
So all these things are reasons other than the scale to show I am succeeding, maybe not in the most obvious way, but in heealthy ways!
So when I am either in spin class or on the treadmill or arc trainer, I like to play my favorite workout song, "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera. It always gets me to push to the next level. I apply those words to my weight loss journey and tell the scale this:
"'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger.
Makes me work a little bit harder.
Makes me that much wiser.
So thanks for making me a fighter...
I am a fighter
(I'm a fighter)
I ain't gonna stop
(I ain't gonna stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough"
Yep I am a fighter and I will not give up my weight loss journey. I will get fit, and I will get to goal one day! I am a fighter.
My Favorite Pasta Dish!
Tonight made homemade pesto with spinach and cheese ravioli, Sauteed portabella mushrooms with garlic and topped the ravioli with it. Then topped it with fresh mint, thyme, oregano and basil from my garden. Then took a light English muffin added a teaspoon of pesto, some cherry tomatoes and a little mozzarella and toasted in the oven. Nice vegetarian dinner better than Olive Garden and way less calories!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Feta Chicken Burger
So I got the idea to go out to the garden and take fresh mint,thyme, and Greek oregano and add it to 4 ounces of ground chicken. I also added a little salt and weber Kickin Chicken seasoning, and Mrs. Dash. I then formed a patty and put one tablespoon of reduced fat feta in the middle. I then formed the patty on top and cooked it. I topped it with lettuce and tomatoes from the garden. A nice side of sweet potato fries!. A nice filling lunch and so good!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Facing the Giants: Part 1
So I decided that if this is going to be a journey, a true journey to a healthy me, then I have to learn to deal with the things that got me off track in the first place. This means facing some trigger foods,fears and issues head on. In other words, I have to face my giants.
I never really thought of myself having a food addiction or really any issue with food until recently. I kept hearing my Weight Watchers leader saying that she was a food addict. But that was not me of course. Then she began to talk about over eaters, and that was not me either. I mean obviously I just made bad choices right? Wrong,I now realize that you do not get to 289 pounds and not have an issue with food period. Now I look back and see I was eating thousands of calories a day. I was eating what I thought to be one portion, but was actually two or three. Then one day I heard Emilie (my leader) tell a story about how she would buy a half sheet cake, and pretend that she was buying it for a party. In reality the cake was for her. Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning, how many times had I done exactly that? How many times did I buy something and hide it in my room? How many times did I eat in secret? I can not tell you how many bags of chips,cookies, snacks and endless things I ate in secret. Food gave me such pleasure. I ate if I was happy, ate if I was sad, mad, bored and stressed. It was my comforter and my friend. I was constantly trying feed the hungry heart not the hungry stomach. I avoided full length mirrors, so that way I never had to know how truly big I was. After all other people had a problem not me.
Then one day, after avoiding it for so long someone took my full length picture, and I saw myself and I did not know who that person looking back at me was. She was huge and even though there was a smile on her face, she was not happy. She was dying on the inside literally. How in the world did I get that huge? Well then the doctor told me my blood sugars were 400, and while I was healthy otherwise amazingly at 289 pounds I needed to do something or the complication from diabetes would soon start attacking my body.
So I tried to lose weight on my own. I half did it. I was really good some days and others I was horrible! But somehow I a managed to get to 255, but slipped back into my old ways. I maintained but then I again saw my picture and knew I had to do something. So when I moved to Georgia I decided to join Weight Watchers. The leader was awesome and she told me something that stuck with me. She said that the last time she joined ww she decided that she would do whatever they said that time, no half doing it but following the plan. So that is what I did, and for the first time ever I have stayed on plan. This time I decided this was for life.
I knew to succeed this time, I had to make the food healthy but it had to taste good, and remind me of the bad stuff. I had to be creative. I also knew I could not be rigid and have a diet mentality, as I had in the past. I had to allow myself room for setbacks and find non food ways to celebrate.
These things have kept me motivated so far. But I still had not dealt with the mental part. I had not faced my giants.
The first giant was realizing that I had a food addiction. It was hard but I realized normal people do not freak out when offered certain foods. Most people can say no easily. Most of all most people do not hide food and eat it. So that meant I had to realize that I need to eat to live not live to eat. So I became more in tune with my emotions, especially when eating. I found myself grabbing food out of boredom, happiness, and just eating half of something before I realized I ate it. It is an everyday struggle. Some days I want to stress eat big time. So I pop gum in my mouth, and then if that does not work, I then get life savers or werthers original. Most of the time that cures the cravings and urges. Then I grab fruit or light string cheese. This helps me the majority of the time. I also never ever let myself eat out of the bag. It leads to mindless calories wasted and regrets later. I know now that food will always be an issue, but what it will no longer be is controlling me. I will no longer let it have that much power.
The next giant was my trigger foods. I know three that had a stronghold of me. Gummy worms, cake with butter cream frosting, and french fries. So it has taken me six months of trying to conquer gummy worms. I could have eaten two or three bags easily in one sitting! Four of those suckers are 4 ww points plus and 150 calories! Nuts huh! I had to stick to only eating them on weigh days taking four and giving them away. Then one day I saw how many points I was spending on candy and it was silly. Empty calories that would not fill me up! So I have two bags at home and allow myself one for taste, and if it fits into the plan. Now those two bags have lasted over a month and a half.
French fries are easier. I learned to bake them an season them well that I prefer the oven fries now. I hate McDonald's fries which I used to eat like you would not believe.
But the last one butter cream frosting a whole different story... to be continued.
I never really thought of myself having a food addiction or really any issue with food until recently. I kept hearing my Weight Watchers leader saying that she was a food addict. But that was not me of course. Then she began to talk about over eaters, and that was not me either. I mean obviously I just made bad choices right? Wrong,I now realize that you do not get to 289 pounds and not have an issue with food period. Now I look back and see I was eating thousands of calories a day. I was eating what I thought to be one portion, but was actually two or three. Then one day I heard Emilie (my leader) tell a story about how she would buy a half sheet cake, and pretend that she was buying it for a party. In reality the cake was for her. Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning, how many times had I done exactly that? How many times did I buy something and hide it in my room? How many times did I eat in secret? I can not tell you how many bags of chips,cookies, snacks and endless things I ate in secret. Food gave me such pleasure. I ate if I was happy, ate if I was sad, mad, bored and stressed. It was my comforter and my friend. I was constantly trying feed the hungry heart not the hungry stomach. I avoided full length mirrors, so that way I never had to know how truly big I was. After all other people had a problem not me.
Then one day, after avoiding it for so long someone took my full length picture, and I saw myself and I did not know who that person looking back at me was. She was huge and even though there was a smile on her face, she was not happy. She was dying on the inside literally. How in the world did I get that huge? Well then the doctor told me my blood sugars were 400, and while I was healthy otherwise amazingly at 289 pounds I needed to do something or the complication from diabetes would soon start attacking my body.
So I tried to lose weight on my own. I half did it. I was really good some days and others I was horrible! But somehow I a managed to get to 255, but slipped back into my old ways. I maintained but then I again saw my picture and knew I had to do something. So when I moved to Georgia I decided to join Weight Watchers. The leader was awesome and she told me something that stuck with me. She said that the last time she joined ww she decided that she would do whatever they said that time, no half doing it but following the plan. So that is what I did, and for the first time ever I have stayed on plan. This time I decided this was for life.
I knew to succeed this time, I had to make the food healthy but it had to taste good, and remind me of the bad stuff. I had to be creative. I also knew I could not be rigid and have a diet mentality, as I had in the past. I had to allow myself room for setbacks and find non food ways to celebrate.
These things have kept me motivated so far. But I still had not dealt with the mental part. I had not faced my giants.
The first giant was realizing that I had a food addiction. It was hard but I realized normal people do not freak out when offered certain foods. Most people can say no easily. Most of all most people do not hide food and eat it. So that meant I had to realize that I need to eat to live not live to eat. So I became more in tune with my emotions, especially when eating. I found myself grabbing food out of boredom, happiness, and just eating half of something before I realized I ate it. It is an everyday struggle. Some days I want to stress eat big time. So I pop gum in my mouth, and then if that does not work, I then get life savers or werthers original. Most of the time that cures the cravings and urges. Then I grab fruit or light string cheese. This helps me the majority of the time. I also never ever let myself eat out of the bag. It leads to mindless calories wasted and regrets later. I know now that food will always be an issue, but what it will no longer be is controlling me. I will no longer let it have that much power.
The next giant was my trigger foods. I know three that had a stronghold of me. Gummy worms, cake with butter cream frosting, and french fries. So it has taken me six months of trying to conquer gummy worms. I could have eaten two or three bags easily in one sitting! Four of those suckers are 4 ww points plus and 150 calories! Nuts huh! I had to stick to only eating them on weigh days taking four and giving them away. Then one day I saw how many points I was spending on candy and it was silly. Empty calories that would not fill me up! So I have two bags at home and allow myself one for taste, and if it fits into the plan. Now those two bags have lasted over a month and a half.
French fries are easier. I learned to bake them an season them well that I prefer the oven fries now. I hate McDonald's fries which I used to eat like you would not believe.
But the last one butter cream frosting a whole different story... to be continued.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Buttermilk Blueberry Cobbler
Buttermilk Blueberry Cobbler
Course: main meals
PointsPlus™ Value: 4
Servings: 8
Preparation Time: 0 min
Cooking Time: 0 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy
Ingredients
4 cup(s) fresh blueberries
2 tsp sugar
1/4 cup(s) sugar
2 tsp lemon zest, Zest of one lemon or orange
1 1/2 cup(s) Bisquick® Reduced-Fat Baking Mix
3/4 cup(s) buttermilk
Instructions
Preheat oven to 400. Spray an 8x* inch square baking dish with nonstick spray.
2. To make filling, combine blueberries, 1/4 sugar, and lemon or orange zest in a large bowl. Spoon into baking dish. (I added a tsp of vanilla)
3. To make topping combine baking mix and buttermilk, in a small bowl, stirring just until blended (I added 2 tsp of cinnamon. Spoon dough evenly over filling: sprinkle top with remaining two teaspoons of sugar.
Bale until golden and filling is bubbling about 30 minutes
© 2011 Weight Watchers International, Inc. © 2011 WeightWatchers.com, Inc. All rights reserved.
WEIGHT WATCHERS and PointsPlus™ are the registered trademarks of Weight Watchers International, Inc. and are used under license by WeightWatchers.com, Inc.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Salsa Chicken
Awesome and easy, one jar of salsa,three chicken breasts, and can of black beans. Put them in a crock pot and cook on low 8 hours. Then shred! Yummy!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Eggplant Parmigiana
Eggplant Parmigiana
315 people rated this recipe
Course: main meals
PointsPlus™ Value: 4
Servings: 4
Preparation Time: 15 min
Cooking Time: 35 min
Level of Difficulty: Moderate
We slimmed down this fattening favorite. Baking the eggplant gives the dish a crispy texture without the fat that comes from frying.
Ingredients
1 spray(s) cooking spray
1/3 cup(s) seasoned bread crumbs, Italian-style
1 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
1 tsp italian seasoning
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1 medium raw eggplant
2 large egg white(s), lightly beaten
1 1/2 cup(s) canned tomato sauce
1/2 cup(s) part-skim mozzarella cheese, shredded (shredded)
Instructions
* Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat a 9 X 13-inch baking dish with cooking spray; set aside.
* Combine bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese, Italian seasoning and garlic powder in a medium-size bowl; set aside. Remove skin from eggplant and trim off ends; slice eggplant into 1/2-inch-thick slices.
* Dip eggplant first into egg whites and then into bread crumb mixture. Bake eggplant on a nonstick cookie sheet until lightly browned, about 20 to 25 minutes, flipping once.
* Place a layer of eggplant on bottom of prepared baking dish, then add 1/3 of tomato sauce and 1/3 of mozzarella cheese. Repeat with 2 more layers in same order. Bake until cheese is melted and sauce is bubbling, about 10 minutes more. Slice into 4 pieces and serve. Top with fresh basil and mint.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Journey
So I could not sleep this morning and I thought about this. I know many of us are ashamed of what we look like now or used to! I found a pic of me in the hospital about to deliver my son and I was almost 300 pounds! I did not even recognize myself in that picture. So now whenever I think I have not come far I will look at that pic. In 2007 I was 290 pounds at the end of my pregnancy. In 2011 I am now at 210. I feel awesome, and I know I can not and will not go back to that person, who avoided mirrors so I could never see how big I really was. I was hiding and lying to myself. Well I am not going to be ashamed of telling that weight anymore, or looking at that picture! Why becuase it reminds me of how strong I have become, that a mirror does not define me. If I had never sunk so low, I would probably never appreciate the importance of eating healthy and exercising! After being that woman I now have more compassion for people struggling with food addiction and obesity. I now know that motivating others and nutrition is my passion and career. I mean if someone walked a mile in your shoes it means so much more than a nutritionist or a trainer that was always thin! Do not be ashamed of your past or your present. Why? You have a bright future! I urge you not to cheat yourself of the opportunity to see just how strong you are and all the accomplishments that you can make! If you fall keep on getting up. You hit a speed bump, keep going. Do not let anything stop you. There will be so many things that will come along to discourage you and hinder you on the journey. But I firmly believe that God puts them there for you to learn something. And then that shapes and molds you into a better you! Do not be ashamed, their is someone watching that needs your encouragement, who watches from afar. That sees you keeping on and says "Yes I can do that too!" Do people stare at obese people and make fun of them at times? Yep, but do not let those shallow minded people get to you! They do not define you or know you! Now when I see a new person at the gym that is there on a regular basis trying to get into shape, or is overweight and looks like they want to hide, I say to them hey great job, keep it up! There is strength in numbers! We are not alone as a country an alarming number of people are now obese, so we are not alone! Do not hide, do not be ashamed. Do not beat yourself up over a set back. Every day is just that a new day and a fresh start. Remember no matter what size you are you are still beautiful! Keep it up and keep going! We will all get there one day no matter how long it takes!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Penne with Sausage and Kale
Penne with Sausage and Kale
Penne with sausage and kale
295 people rated this recipe
Course: main meals
PointsPlus™ Value: 8
Servings: 4
Preparation Time: 10 min
Cooking Time: 16 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy
Italian food is always a family favorite. Use kale or broccoli rabe — depending on what’s available.
Ingredients
2 cup(s) uncooked penne
1/8 tsp table salt, or to taste, for cooking pasta
8 oz raw turkey sausage, sweet Italian variety
4 cup(s) kale, roughly chopped into bite-sized pieces
1 cup(s) canned chicken broth
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp table salt
1/2 cup(s) shredded parmesan cheese, Parmigiano-Reggiano recommended
Instructions
* Cook penne in salted water according to package directions.
* Meanwhile, remove sausage from casing and cook in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat, breaking up sausage as it cooks, about 3 minutes. Add kale; cook, stirring frequently, until limp, about 3 to 5 minutes.
* Add broth to skillet and scrape up browned bits on bottom of skillet with a wooden spoon; season with salt and pepper. Cover skillet and reduce heat to low; cook until kale is tender, about 5 to 10 minutes. Stir in penne; heat through.
* Sprinkle each serving with about 2 tablespoons of cheese before serving. Yields about 1 1/2 cups per serving.
Notes
My Goals for 2011
Well I do not do resolutions, but I will set goals. So I have 15 goals that I have set for myself for 2011.
1.To reach the 100 pounds lost mark!
2.To double my cardio one week out of the month every month!
3. To make at least one new recipe a week!
4. To explore new ways to add vegetables to my meals.
5. Eat fish at least once a week.
6. To get my spin certification.
7. To lift free weights three times a week for at least thirty minutes.
8. To run/walk the American Heart Association 5k.
9. To work with a non profit group on developing a nutritional and exercise program for teenage girls on eating healthy and fit.
10. To take at least five nutrtion courses.
11. To continue with new health and wellness programs at work.
12. To get back into singing in choir.
13. To help at least two people become healthier.
14. To organize at least three volunteer teambuilders for work.
15. To continue on my Bible studies, and growing spirtually!
1.To reach the 100 pounds lost mark!
2.To double my cardio one week out of the month every month!
3. To make at least one new recipe a week!
4. To explore new ways to add vegetables to my meals.
5. Eat fish at least once a week.
6. To get my spin certification.
7. To lift free weights three times a week for at least thirty minutes.
8. To run/walk the American Heart Association 5k.
9. To work with a non profit group on developing a nutritional and exercise program for teenage girls on eating healthy and fit.
10. To take at least five nutrtion courses.
11. To continue with new health and wellness programs at work.
12. To get back into singing in choir.
13. To help at least two people become healthier.
14. To organize at least three volunteer teambuilders for work.
15. To continue on my Bible studies, and growing spirtually!
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